The Hearse Song
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Don’t ever laugh as a hearse goes by
For you may be the next to die
They wrap you up in bloody sheets
To drop you six feet underneath
They put you in a pinewood box
And cover you up with dirt and rocks
It all goes well for about a week
And then, your coffin begins to leak
And the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
The worms play pinochle on your snout
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose
As you begin to decompose
A slimy beetle with demon’s eyes
Chews through your stomach and out your sides
Your stomach turns to rancid grease
And puss pours out like melted cheese
You spread it on a slice of bread
And that’s what you’ll eat when you’re dead
And the worms crawl out, the worms crawl in
The ones that crawl in are lean and thin
The ones that crawl out are fat and stout
Your eyes fall in, and your hair falls out
Your brain turns into maggot pie
Your liver starts to liquify
And for the living, all is well
As you sink further into hell
And the flames rise up to drag you down
Into the fire, where you will drown
Your skin melts off as you descend
And Satan tears you limb from limb
Your suffering will never end
And the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
They’ll eat your guts and then shit them out
And when your bones begin to rot
The worms remain, but you do not
So don’t ever laugh as a hearse goes by
For someday, you’ll be the one to die
And when Death brings his cold despair
Ask yourself, “Will anyone care?”